I Lurve My Body Pillow

I have come to the conclusion that there are two types of people in the world: those who sleep without a body pillow and those who cannot sleep without one. I fall into the category of the latter. I lurve my body pillow.

Before the invention of the body pillow, current body pillow devotees used an actual body as a pillow. Husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, and large dogs worked well for this purpose. However, several flaws were quickly noted. People and dogs move thus interrupting sleep. In addition, they get hot and sweat! Finally if you are a woman who has ever tried to use a man as a body pillow than you know the very act of letting a portion of your body touch their's is code in their brain for desire for sex. What does a girl gotta do to get some sleep around here??

 Then a smart few evolved into using standard pillows to prop and support their bodies while sleeping. These solved the issue of too warm of a cuddly thing, because the pillows could just be flipped to the "cool side". Yet, using one pillow was not enough and using any more than one allowed for the phenomenon of the "migrating pillow". You'd wake up in the middle of the night and one pillow was for sure on the floor or so far tucked into the foot of the bed that brut strength alone would unwedge it.

Enter: The body pillow. Genius. As I mentioned I love mine and use it every night. My husband used to tease me. He found it funny that I required such a large apparatus in order to sleep soundly. Well, one night somehow though he denies it fervently, he used it. Maybe some odd curiosity got him to try it- kinda like that straight girl in college who just has to get it on with a girl... who knows. All I know is the next time we were at Bed Bath and Beyond, having a nice little Saturday, he saw one and tossed it in the cart. I tested it out, prodding and squishing like you do with a cantaloupe at the grocery store. It was far too ripe, er soft.

I explained to him as a season veteran of body pillow use, that choosing a body pillow is like choosing a wife. After all, you sleep with your wife every night as well. In the midst of feeling half gay perhaps or defeated/embarrassed of all of the above. He quietly assured me it was "fine". Well time has passed and after several tries and some desperate nights his lame excuse for a body pillow spends most nights under the bed.

Now lord help me if I go to bed after him or use the restroom in the middle of the night, for the moment I am not around he's got my beloved body pillow in an embrace of a long lost lover. By the time I return to bed I have to pry it from his arms and his naturally hot body temperature and larger frame has managed to leave the pillow warmer than I like and slightly mishapen. It always takes me longer to fall asleep again after he's man-handled it.

At this point I think my only chance at getting my body pillow back and my nights back to normal are to hunt him down a worthy body pillow. We simply cannot go on living like this.

Fun Facts:
Guling is a long hugging pillow originating from Indonesia.

Abrazador is a long hugging pillow originating from the Philippines.